Sunday, January 8, 2012

Problem with Rivals.

I am a key member of an unofficial sports team here at FHS, and am currently the only one with this position. Recently, someone else has been trying to "help" me with this job, and making wisecracks whenever he does. Don't get me wrong, the position is easily the most strenuous one on the team, so I don't mind the help, but I don't want to roll over and look like a wimp either, especially considering this "rival" is a big show-off and a bit of a boaster. Any suggestions?

Unsure Matey, what an annoying situation. Try talking to your friend and let him know that you appreciate the help, but not when he's ragging on you. Don't worry too much about looking macho, because you're already in the position and people probably admire you for that. Also, this "rival" may be jealous of you and could be teasing you out of his own wish to have the role you do on the sports team. Try talking to him gently about this, letting him know that you appreciate the genuine help, but dislike the sass he's attaching to his help. If you let your guard down and he sees that you have some insecurity around this, he may back off a little and become a resource for you rather than a rival. Avoid getting too mad at him when you're having this conversation, because, as you recognized, he does want to help. This conversation may be awkward...don't feel insecure about your worries. It must take a lot of hard work to be such a key member and this can bring worry about whether you're performing well in that role. Have confidence in yourself, you're probably doing a better job than you realize! Ahoy!

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